Wednesday, January 13, 2010

Pete Carroll: So long, ass clown!

Das Sport Optimator II humbly submits this counterargument to my Optimator co-conspirator: What could've been for the Pac-10? Who fucking cares?? The team that dominated this conference year in and year out, a la Michigan in the Big Ten in the late 80s and early 90s, falls off a cliff this year, finishing out of the rankings for the first time since I was still asking older friends to buy me beer, and has that ignominy followed up by this news, which most certainly portends more bad things to come for SC, clearing the way for Chip Kelly's* Ducks to contend (dare I hope for domination?) year in and year out, or even makes it possible for you to dream of a Rose Bowl berth for your beloved Cal, and you want to wonder about what could've been for the Pac-10? I don't have to wonder, I saw what was, and it was skull-numbingly boring to see USC march to the Rose Bowl/National Popularity Contest Title Game every year. Carroll seems like a nice guy, and I admire the way he built that program into such a juggernaut, but I couldn't be happier about this news.


* Has anybody seen Kelly being interviewed at half-time or after games? He's the most extreme side-talker since, ever! He looks like that bit on the Conan O'Brien show where one of O'Brien's funny guys' mouth is superimposed over a picture of say, Ahnold, on that screen that comes down over the guest's chair. Hilarious. You know what wasn't hilarious? How Chip Kelly torpedoed the Ducks' chances in the Rose Bowl by insisting on playing TheGarrett Blount. He sucked against Boise State, TheMichael James had been quicksilver all year, and... that's it. Why was he not playing James? Why???