WERDER BREMEN (Home & Away) : So bad they could be two different entries, but lets save some space here. There is absolutely nothing I like about these, maybe their standard green, but that is about it. I have said this before, but it looks like Nike took Slovenia's World Cup Charlie Brown look and said "How can we make this worse?", and they nailed it. These jerseys hit on everything I hate; random jags, two shades of the same color, back panel doesn't match the front, shit font that makes the Netherlands' electrical tape look good. I'm half convinced Mesut Özil took one look at these and said "Fuck this, send me to Real Madrid!"or whatever the equivalent is in German.
Side Note : Go to Google and type in "Slovenia Jersey" but don't hit enter yet, the #2 and #4 search suggestions contain "Charlie Brown." Nike, you guys rock.TOTTENHAM (Home) : Puma follows up the deuce they dropped in 09/10 with something equally horrible. This makes the Spurs look like a bunch of sailor boys, just a warning, don't look up "sailor boy" on Google images. Maybe Puma was inspired by Japanese school girls.
BORDEAUX (All) : Puma strikes again, this time its tripled. Bordeaux really pioneered the Sailor look last year, and its back with a vengeance. Just to make things worse, Puma threw in a purple and pink kit. I'm also staring to notice, maybe its a Spanish/German/French thing, but all of the crappiest kits get trotted out on girls. Either that or a player with no shirt flanked by girls wearing the kit, although Mainz's kit isn't all that bad. I imagine that players are so humiliated by these kits they refuse to model them.
I like the one in the middle, the girl, not the kit.OLYMPIC LYON (Away & Third) : These two look like they were made in some ludicrous Project Runway challenge. Maybe they didn't want to be outdone by Bordeaux, or maybe the strategy is to blind opponents. It saddens me a bit because their home whites actually look pretty good, apparently they only had enough good design juice for one kit.
AJAX (Away) : On the surface these look harmless, but they land on this list for sporting the most idiotic jersey gimmick I can imagine. What is it you ask? These jerseys GLOW IN THE FUCKING DARK. When would this be used? Do they play games in pitch darkness in the Eredivisie? Is Ajax's fan base made up of ravers and potheads... oh, wait, Ajax is in Amsterdam. Well, I still think these are stupid, add in the Baby Bjorn pattern and these give me a headache.
CELTIC (Away) : Really? Really?! I demand to know who thought this was a good idea.
CHIVAS & CHIVAS USA (Home) : A rare cross-border collaboration between the Primera Division and the MLS. These both look like they were made with parts of an American flag used in random patterns. Bonus points here for some Adidas-Reebok teamwork.
TSG HOFFENHEIM (All) : I'm really hammering Puma, and they deserve it. We get the sailor boy, boomerang accents from last year, and the odd pattern popular with the African teams in the World Cup. Puma must really be fighting with Adidas for the Bundesliga's ugly dominance.
BARCELONA (Away) : I don't get this at all. Last year it was salmon, now foam green. Maybe they are going for a nurse/doctor scrubs look. Suddenly white isn't good enough, at least their 08/09 yellow kit matched their colors and looked decent.
VFL WOLFSBURG (Home & Away) : These are horrible and, of course, by Adidas. I love vertical stripes, but not with dark green and black. The terminating shoulder stripes, the odd expanse between them, these have been tormenting me for years now. I really like the away kit because the green section pushes the Adidas and Wolfsburg logo way up high, and you can't see very well but there are these tiny gray marks all around the chest that look like a giant fingerprint.
